Oh Lawrd Have Mercy

In this installment of Addiction’s Front Page I would like to share with my visitors a sketch of the process we go through on a given night of raiding. It goes something like this:

1) Assemble the raid. This step is crucial, because it sets up the night for either success or failure. This is where I deal with people asking for summons for the FOURTH TIME, while breathing through their mouths, because they forgot something at the bank. Four times.

2) Then, we zone in. The fight is explained. In no less than 20 minutes. People breathe through their mouths some more and confuse shapes and forget how to misdirect and to inform their pet that we are not, in fact, doing Leotheras and that running to his room (and collecting half the instance along the way) is a bad idea.

3) After everyone gets warmed up and the retardation leaves them for the time being, we experience mild and short-lived success:

4) We are happy, and feel awesome, like this:

5) You would think that we would end the night on a good note. Two new bosses, one night, progress made by leaps and bounds. But somebody has to say it. SOMEBODY is ALWAYS there to make "the suggestion". And doom us all. It goes something like this:

[Raid] Kain: Good job tonight guys and girls, two new bosses down, log on tomorrow and we’ll do even more!
[Raid] Instigator: lul kain i gots a kool idea!
[Raid] Instigator: lets head 2 magz layer!
[Raid] Kain: Magtheridon?… Um, it’s 11 already, you know what happens when we do difficult things this late…
[Raid] Instigator: but we jsut killed 2 bosses lol we’ll get him ez, liek 15 mins
[Raid] Instigator: nd he drops liek 5 itamz
[Raid] Kain: But think about it….. think of the CUBES. You remember what happened last time?!
[Raid] Instigator: dood ur retarded, we jsut OWNDED karthess + hydorss, im sure we can clikc cubes lol. dont be a nub

And then others get the notion that this is for some reason a good idea, and suddenly remember [Magtheridon’s Eye] and all of our flawless kills. They forget the week he lived after 3 nights of attempts, or the time we had 4 channelers up when he broke, or the week we killed him after 2 hours of wiping as trash was respawning outside the door and Kain sacrificed a kitten as a gesture of thanks. They forget [Glaive of the Pit] x2.

6) And then the mob carries on to Hellfire Penninsula, and inevitably, we have:

But I have hope. And more importantly, patience. And when that fails, I remind myself that the world is full of hard liquor and beautiful women. This comforts me, and the next time I hear "lol my bad i thuoght by ‘get in your positions’ yuo meant ‘check to see if the channelers can be polymorphed’" I simply smile instead of turning the offender into a sock puppet.

Until next time.